ASK ME ANYTHING

1. "But like… aren't you just taking pictures though? What makes it so deep?" I don't really see it as deep tbh. I see it as wild. Exciting. Hilarious. It's my perspective when I take my time, when I seek my angle, when I am present. I've worked with enough people, seen them shift/change/morph into someone I totally didn't expect, gotten a behind the scenes view of someone's life experience... that there is a reverence to what we are capable of. As individuals and as a collective.

Photography has deepened my everyday experience - to be *with* people who are willing to share themselves with me. We don't normally do much more than scratch the surface. We play our little roles on social media, try not to make eye contact at the grocery store, get awkward when a stranger asks a question. Divert attention when someone asks how we are feeling. Our everyday attitudes and habits kinda make for mediocre photos and that bores me. Pressing a button is the smallest part of my job. Getting the lighting right, that's pretty simple stuff.

I trained as an actor, so character work is an interest to me (maybe an obsession). Intention. It seems easier to me to follow a curiosity than to accept that someone is a fully formed entity and no one in the room has the opportunity to learn anything today. I love learning about people because it teaches me more about myself.

2. You sound super spiritual about all this — how do you actually deal with someone who's awkward or just wants a basic headshot?

I just be awkward with them. I acknowledge that this is an awkward situation. Because we don't normally stand in front of someone with a camera in a studio full of lights. It's kind of weird. If I'm not going to be fully present as myself, I'm not going to offer a space where it feels safe for someone else to express themself.

If I understand what I think I do about what you mean by basic headshots - you can get a decent headshot on a phone in front of a blank wall taken by your buddy. I'm not here for "good enough." If we're working together, I'm gonna ask you to shake your hips and take a few breaths. I've got enough tricks up my sleeve that we can be done in less than a minute if we need to. You want a smile, bam, I'm a professional comedian, nailed it. You want serious, cool, let's go there, I got you. Zoom zoom.

My work and my speech is meant to attract folks who might be a bit more curious about themselves and think that maybe they want to take their perspective to another level. To try on a different "me suit."

3. Okay but if beauty is everywhere, why even need a photographer?

Professional photography is a luxury, not a need.

4. Do you ever mess up? Like completely botch a shoot or just not get the shot you wanted?

The second time I started my photography business (third time's a charm lol), I took a job that was above my skill set, outside of my comfort zone, with an amateur-level camera and ended up refunding the money. Luckily it was a pretty basic office event and they had hired multiple photographers, so it wasn't a complete loss for them. You learn a lot by messing up that huge.

I didn't restart my business for a few years after that, and by that time I had done a lot of free shoots and at least had a grip on business structure and was a lot more confident in low-light situations.

I don't always nail it on the first shot. I do my best to have my settings pretuned so I don't have to think about it but I might forget to change something in the lighting or underexpose something and need to bump it up in post. Or I forget to turn something on. I still leave my lens cap on randomly - it's a good laugh. Botching a shot is part of it. I've learned enough through experience to be able to adjust in the moment, most of the time pretty automatically, some of the time with some combination of pause/effort/breath. You don't need to bat 1000 to be a professional photographer. You need 1/160 of a second to change someone's perspective on who they could be.

5. Do you actually like people? Or are you just good at creating moments with them?

To create a moment with someone is to give yourself to them. I observe people. I create with them. I am fascinated by people. We are all so perspective-rich and have our own idosyncrasies, it's very difficult for me to imagine not liking someone. I generally enjoy people. I enjoy humans. We're so funny and weird and wonderful.

6. Why should someone trust you to show them something they can’t see themselves?

It's pretty difficult to get an objective view of yourself. We all have blind spots. Some of these questions really point out mine. Like ... I guess I do come across as spiritual LMAO. Without a mirror, we can't see our own face. So in essence, I'm like a mirror in a meat suit. I don't think anyone should inherently automatically trust anyone else. Trust is earned. Trust is experienced. Trust is a vine. It shifts over time, grows in unexpected ways, sometimes it is pruned. These are experiential, not instant.

7. What do you actually think when you see someone who says, 'I'm not photogenic'?

Oh hell yes/this is gonna be so fun.

8. How do you know when a photo is good?

I feel it. I sense it. It's the difference for me when the photo says "I am here. I am present." vs. someone's eyes facing inwards, worried about their hair or their outfit or what the heck their hand decided to unlearn how to do normal hand stuff. The inner monologue says "hi. hello. i am." That's good to me. Other people might have different opinions. I don't always have the same favorites as my clients. It's why we take more than 1 picture ;P

9. Don't you ever just get tired of all the meaning? Wouldn't it be easier to just take pretty pictures and call it a day?

Not really. Ease is what you are comfortable with. Poetry is easy for me. Prose is more of a challenge. Pretty is subjective. I don't know what pretty means to you. It might be an easy version, but your version of pretty might not be attainable for me. It might be more difficult for me to come to your version rather than just deepening my own understanding of how I view and interact with the world and using that as a service.

10. What’s the last photo you took that scared you?

Probably every time I take a self-portrait. I might know all of these things about how other people act and have a pretty decent sense of how to have them shift and breathe and feel more comfortable on camera, but when I step up and have the camera at me, that fear is still there. I'd almost always rather have a photographer there, but I may also be a glutton for punishment here. There is a different vibe to a self-portrait, of being the seer and the seen, so it feels more fulfilling to do that in a way, and I enjoy putting myself in my client's shoes.

My favorite time I got afraid of a shoot was with John Gedmark, CEO of Astranis. I was so used to working with actors and musicians, that a rocket scientist tech CEO was super intimidating and I almost chickened out of my warm-up exercises and just took the picture. But that ended up being a breakthrough for me. I stuck with my breathing and physical exercises before and made my comments on his wardrobe and style and it made a huge difference in my confidence. Knowing that these were more universal elements that would work on anyone from Artists to Rocket Scientists. When I met his wife a few days later, she joked "what did you do to him - he has been modeling for himself in the mirror all week lol." And I could tell. He walked in to the holiday party with a swagger that made me believe in my own work. As my friend Latashá would say "If it scares me, I have to do it."

11. When did you first realize you wanted to capture beauty?

Beauty is transmission. it cannot be captured. beauty is not meant for containers. when we flow with each other, when we create together, when we get out of the damn way, beauty is the natural result. the only answer to when I realized this was possible is right now, because there is no other time than right now. the right now-ness of right now is as eternal as beauty herself.

12. Who have you never photographed but feel like you want to have a conversation with?

I love being in conversation with you. the part of you that sits in the invisible. the spark that dances in your eye reflecting off the moonlight just so. we vibe.

But frfr, I’d love to vibe w Rick Rubin, Brian Eno, Buddha.

13. What part of your own reflection still surprises you?

The part that has been the same since i can remember. that kid in me that gets excited and makes a silly face at myself in the mirror. the part that jumps out of the reflection and plays back like peter pan's shadow. the part of my reflection that leads.

14. What are you trying to redeem, over and over, each time you press the shutter?

two tickets to paradise.

15. What would you say to someone who believes beauty is a lie — a trick, a trap, a mask?

Step right up.

16. When was the last time you felt seen?

When I walk around my house, when I look at any photo I've taken, I see myself. I see the moment that we shared, our little tossabout. Our little soul soireé. I can feel the concrete on my elbows from the low-angle shot on the Golden Gate Bridge when I look at you. The tangibility of the memory is me seeing myself. When I touch the bark of a tree or hold dirt in my hands. No other person is going to give you the feeling of being seen. A portrait is a reminder that you've seen yourself. It's the receipt, not the transaction. The memory of it is the relationship, and that piece is fluid. You're not the same river looking back at yourself. You perspective shifts... what does that moment mean to you now. That's being seen to me. That's the eye of the mystery.